I am a 38 year old coffee addict and fitness freak. I love to blog and
talk and write, so this site is a mish-mash of all those passions.
My husband is Australian, I am American. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary this last June. We actually met on a MMORPG. Some of our favorite things to do together are playing World of Warcraft, watching movies, going to music festivals, cooking together, and reading books together.
You may wonder how I got to be 263 lbs. I would eat when I was happy, I would eat when I was sad, angry...pretty much all the time.
It wasn't always that way however. From about 12 to14 I was anorexic. I just didn't eat. I got down to 102lbs with a 22 in waist and was thrilled that my hip bones stuck out and I could see my ribs. Boy I thought I had arrived.
I got pregnant and starting eating again. After my son was born I resorted to throwing up after eating. I thought this was brilliant because I could enjoy the great taste of food without the calories...or so I thought.
I found out this was very unhealthy so I went back to not eating as my method of weight loss, after all it worked before. I remember being terrified of eating a cookie, one cookie, because my stomach was not used to food, one cookie would put me in so much pain.
So over the years I destroyed my metabolism, and destroyed a lot of precious muscle with the moronic way I was dieting.Now that I had the metabolism of a slug, anything and everything I ate my starved body hung onto and I ballooned up to 263 lbs!
It has been four and a half years since I weighed 263lbs, its taken me till this last February 2009 to get down to 125 lbs.
I started my weight loss journey with the Body For Life program. I will always love that program, I think its a great program, It teaches you the basics of a healthy lifestyle and its very balanced.
I had to take before pics. So I had my daughter take them and when I looked at them I could not believe how far gone I was. None of the mirrors in my house showed below the waist so I was completely taken by surprise. I was so upset I went to bed immediately I could not deal with it at all.
At that point I had all the symptoms of diabetes, but I wouldn't go to the doctor. Getting out of bed in the morning and standing was so painful, my feet hurt all the time. I had this nasty sore that went from the tip of my pinky finger all the way to my wrist. It would itch so bad I would make it bleed scratching it. When I took sugar out of my diet it went away completely.
I started with a bench and free weights I had at home. There was no way I would go to a gym at that point. I did my cardio in my back yard where no one could see me. I literally wore a track in the grass where I walked and ran.
Over the next couple years I, moved from California to Australia and got
down to 190 lbs. Then I got stuck there.
I had wanted to compete in figure for years and I knew I would need all the help I could get so I hired Tony DiCostanzo of Dreambodies
and I haven’t looked back. From the week I started with him the weight flew off. It got to the point where I could predict what I would weigh and be right!
I followed the program Tony set out for me to a T. I was so thrilled to have a trainer, I could not imagine NOT doing what he said.
Month after month I got fabulous results. Then the month I hit 125lbs came. This had been my goal for so long I was ecstatic.
I felt so small and fit and everything seemed so CLEAR and EASY!! I was on track to compete in 3 months. I had plenty of time and I was so excited.
My husband had lost his job the month before but I wasn't too worried because I figured he would quickly find another. Then my job ended. So here were both of us out of work. Not too long before that our car was vandalized and had missing windows and we only had the one car.
We ended up moving in with family. This sent me on a downward spiral. Emotional eating? I became a bottomless pit. I was devastated I had come so close and then everything just fell apart. At this stage I didn't even know how to maintain my weight. I only knew how to diet and I had been dieting a very long time.
During the next few months I gained back 35lbs. Which brings us to now. I am working on taking off the extra 35 and about 10 more. I've not given up on competing and I can say I have learned a lot. I am not perfect by no means, but mentally, I think I have become stronger.
I thought once I hit my goal weight I could start eating "normal", whatever that is. Nope this is for life. I realized that stuffing my face with junk needs to become a thing of the past. I need to make better food choices for my free meals. My body just doesn't do well on crap food. That doesn't mean I will never have cake again. It just means that will not be something I choose whenever I want something sweet.
So I continue to learn. I learn from others who have gone before me and offer their advice, experience and wisdom, I learn from my own experience too and I love helping others, passing on what I have learned, and the tips and tricks I have picked up along the way.
I really struggle with being an all or nothing person. I have had
people tell me I am the most uplifting happy person they know, and I
have had people tell me I am the most depressing angry person they
know… I guess I didn’t have my coffee that day.
I am forever trying to find a balance in my life between my passions
and those things I have to do. I tend to get so focused on my goals and
whatever it is that I am trying to accomplish that everything else can be forgotten
for days on end. I get lost in my own mind.
Some things I love….
Coffee
Bookstores( especially ones with coffee shops)
Pretty shiny sparkly things
Scented candles
Brand new notebooks, brand new school supplies for that matter send me into euphoria
The smell of new running shoes
Tulips-any color, but I have a strange fondness for the yellow ones
Makeup and beauty products
Body butter that smells good enough to eat
The beach when the water is glowing from the sun shinning on it as it sets
A great comedy
Chocolate
Cupcakes
Carmel popcorn
Brand new books
The feeling after a great workout
Seeing veins and striations on my arms and shoulders after a workout
Pushing myself harder then I thought possible, lifting more then I thought I could
Trance music, I have to listen to music everyday or I get depressed
